


Metal Head Conspiracy

by buntcakemaster



Category: Zombieland Saga (Anime)
Genre: Blog Format, Canon Related, Conspiracy Theory, idk how tags work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-16 15:45:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16956849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buntcakemaster/pseuds/buntcakemaster
Summary: A collection of Blog Posts by the metal heads about Death Musume / Franchouchou. Watch as these two try to unravel the mystery behind this strange upstart idol group. Chapters start out short, but as they start making theories they're gonna get longer. Also on ff.net!





	1. RIP Night Fes

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This work is also on ff.net, under the same author name buntcakemaster! Enjoy!

SagaMetalHead

**R.I.P. NIGHT FES 3: Death Musume**

Now, I've always been a big fan of R.I.P. Night Fes. I've been going to this annual concert for years, and every time I love each band. That being said, they're usually huge sticklers for who's allowed on stage, and anything other than metal is kicked right out.

So, what the hell was an idol group doing here? In all the years I'd never seen something like it. Is Saga just this desperate for local music these days?

Anyways, their performance started off a complete wreck. The girls had no idea what they were doing, the lead seemed to be nervous as hell, and I could have sworn they were here to insult us.

Then, one of them just lunges at the crowd. Specifically, at me. I'm 90% sure she tried to bite my face off.

It was... kinda cool. Starting off with a stage dive? Absolute power move.

So, they've got my attention. Number 1, as the lead goes by, had to drag her back to the stage.

Then, the music played, and it has to be one of the sickest beats I'd heard that night. It may have been pre-recorded, sure, but it was great.

The crowd's going wild, the lights are everywhere, was this seriously what a small idol group was going for?

And then, the blonde chick pulls out a bullhorn, and lays down the rawest scream.

Suddenly they're all headbaning so hard I swear their necks are broken. They go for the mosh again, and this time its hype!

So, be on the lookout for Death Musume. They're just starting out, but I'm excited to see where they go.

  
  



	2. 11th Sachi-no-Mon Public Concert

SagaMetalHead

**Death Musume: A follow up...?**

You know, there's a certain amount of respect you have to have for new groups. They're still trying to figure out what does and doesn't work. They don't really have a brand yet, and they're still a bit shakey, but they definitely have something going for them.

Also, their special effects are WACK. More on that later.

Anyways, from what I can tell they haven't really settled on a name. They started the act by fumbling around with what it is, eventually landing on Green Face? Don't worry, they're not some eco-preachers now.

They've got a bit of a formula, from what I can tell. They start out by trying idol stuff, it goes horribly wrong, then they go into their real song. Kind of a cool concept, and I wonder how they're gonna develop it.

Anyways, since no one really got video of this performance and Death-In-Saga was the only person who was at RIP Night Fes that was also there, I'm gonna try to do my best to spell out what happened.

SO first off, they did the whole name fumble I mentioned earlier. Their goal is to, allegedly, revitalize Saga. I've got an idea of what that means, but more after the summary.

The girls are numbered 0 through 6. Zero is the one that almost bit my face off, I mentioned the leader, One, in my last post about this group, Two is the bullhorn lady from last post, and... I don't remember who the others are. I think their shirts were numbered though.

So, they try to do their idol dance & music, but they're all out of sync and the whole thing's a mess. Heck, after a bit, Zero trips and falls over. One trys to stop her, but she falls anyways.

Then, Zero's head flies off.

...I'll say it again, in case you misunderstand.

_Then, Zero's head flies off._

In what has to be the most impressive special effects I've seen, her head flies into the audience, and eats some guys fried squid.

One quickly goes to get the head and put it back on Zero's decapitated body, but Two has other plans. She keeps taking the head back off, all while it's still eating the squid, and starts doing tricks with it. One slaps the head so hard it hits the back wall, and says "Could you try to hide the fact we're zombies?!"

I'm telling you, these gals are WERID.

The music stopped a while ago, but now there's just deafening silence. One starts going off of Two about the whole zombie thing? I don't remember it word for word, but then she says something about Two's brain being rotten like a zombie?

And Two fights back. In rhyme.

Suddenly there's beatboxing, and they're having a freestyle rap battle?!

The zombie insults and shade continues to be thrown. One of them pulls out a shamisen, the beat picks up, and honestly it was a slaughter by One. Then she turned it on the audience, and overall? Pretty cool.

I'm not a huge hip-hop fan, but overall I had a good time. With the whole head-falling-off thing and the dialogue I think they're trying to give the audience the idea that the entire group are zombies? Like literally? But its also probably a metaphor for giving up before you've even started. Though those special effects with Zero's head make me think back to RIP and wonder if they were using that to make those headbangs look so... unnatural.

I'll admit, Death Musume, Green Face, I'm intrigued. What's next?

 **EDIT:** I'm dumb. Death Musume? Green Face? More zombie jokes. If One's so insistent they keep it a secret, is that really what they're going for?

#DeathMusume #GreenFace #NotMetal #KeepAnEyeOut #Metaphorical #Maybe? #CantWait

* * *

Death-In-Saga

**Death Musume/Green Face**

So my bro SagaMetalHead has been talking about this band Death Musume (?), and I wanted to throw my two cents in.

First of all, hes an Idiot for not noticing the Zombie Puns in their band names. Like, come on. Daughter of Death? Green Face? How obvious can you get.

Second, hes Damn right that their Special Effects are out of this world, especially with what looks like a New, Underfunded Idol Group with No Actual Endorsements. I could be Wrong, but as far as I can tell theyve only had Two Performances and both were definitely... Thrown Together? That doesn't Sound Right, but it's the Vibe I got

I mean the parts in the beginning were both Intentionally Bad, but I still felt their Good Parts could use a little work.

Now, as for this whole "Zombie" thing hes been going off about. Honestly, he Wont Stop Talking about it! My personal thoughts is that its a Commentary on the Idol Industry. Its no secret that Idols these days are both Treated Poorly and On The Decline. The whole Zombie thing is a Metaphor for trying to bring the Idol Genre Back From The Dead, but also a Subtle Implication that what currently is there has Been Rotting for Years.

Also, theres some Details about the Performance he missed. Three is a Girl with Grey Hair, Four has Purple with Flowers in it, Five is the one who Pulled Out The Shamisen, and Six is the Obligatory Short Cutsie One. Oddly, I feel like Ive seen Four somewhere before...

Eh, she just looks like a Generic Idol Band Member. Not that I watch Idol Bands or anything.

Point is, so far Everythings just a Metaphor about the Crumbling Industry. It also Explains why they started with Death Metal, which is the King of Anti-Establishment, then went to Hip-Hop, another Common Medium for that sort of Idea.

I know all Ive been doing is Complaining, but I have to admit that theres Definitely Potential there. I wont lie, I had a Great Time at both performances, and some of those Rap Lines were RAW. Also the idea that theyve got some sort of Story theyre trying to tell sounds Pretty Cool. An Odd Choice of Medium, but thats what makes it so Interesting.

Oh, one last thing about the "Story" that Might exist. From what I can tell, if this Theory isn't Bogus, 3 and 4 were Probably Idols in their Past Lives. There was a line or two about it in the Rap, but I might be Misunderstanding it. Also I think One let Zeros name slip, but theres No Telling if thats her Characters Name or her Real Name. It sounded something like "Tae" but I could be Wrong. SagaMetalHead didnt seem to Notice it, so maybe I was just hearing things.

Alright that It For Today. Rock On!

#DeathMusume #GreenFace #NotDeathMetal


	3. Drive-In Tori, Gatalympics, Guerrilla Concert, Website

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the new website found, there's now footage of every previous concert and the moments they've missed! What will they think of it all? Also, why is the band dressed in Chicken Suits?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh. The website doesn't actually exist irl. Sad, I know.

SagaMetalHead

**Death Musume 3: ...what**

I'm sure by now you've all seen the ad for Drive-In Tori.

That's them. That's Death Musume. Green Face. Whatever.

I guess this is their way of doing marketing? Drive-In Tori isn't exactly the biggest place out there, but they're not the biggest band out there, so I guess it makes sense?

I'm confused. Zero seems on point though.

Yeah. I don't really know what else to say.

#DeathMusume #GreenFace #NotMetal #IStillDontKnowWhatIWatched

* * *

 

SagaMetalHead

**New Sideblog!**

So, things are getting kind of ridiculous with #DeathMusume . I'm pretty sure they no longer qualify as Death Metal, but I still want to post about them somewhere. There's some new info that I've gotten ahold of recently, and I want to just have a comprehensive place to put everything I've gotten so far. So, if you're interested go follow Death-Faced-Franchouchou

#DeathMusume #GreenFace #Franchouchou #NotMetal #NewBlog

* * *

 

Death-Faced-Franchouchou

**Welcome!**

Hey! Welcome to this blog. I'm not quite sure what the focus of this is going to be yet, but it will definitely have to do with the rising stars of the idol genre, Franchouchou! This is gonna be a hell of a ride, so sit tight. -Mod DeathMusume

#NotFranchouchou #ModDM

Death-Faced-Franchouchou

Yo. Disregard that last post. Mod DM and I have it Figured Out Already. Hes gonna focus on Tracking Down Anything and Everything Franchouchou and talk about them as their Superficial "Zombies Pretending theyre Not Zombies" Story, while I Analyze their Music for Deeper Meaning and what they're Really Trying to Say. Why am I getting Don't Hug Me I'm Scared Flashbacks...? -Mod GreenFace

#NotFranchouchou #ModGF

* * *

 

Death-In-Saga

Hey, SagaMetalHead and I are Moderating a New Blog called Death-Faced-Franchouchou about That Band he and I have been Talking About. There wont be any more posts about them on our Personal Blogs, itll all be there. Check It Out.

#NotDeathMetal #DeathMusume #GreenFace #Franchouchou

* * *

 

Death-Faced-Franchouchou

**Gruella Concert, Gatalympics, Website?**

Franchouchou participated in the Gatalympics! ...Okay? Yeah, things have been kinda weird, but I'll take what I can get. They're kind of hard to make out, since after the first event they're all covered in mud, but it’s hilarious watching them struggle at these events.

Zero has managed to somehow make me more scared of her. That swing was terrifying.

My favorite moment has to be Kotoaro Tatsumi. I'm pretty sure this guy's their manager, or at least their driver. I saw him hanging out in the wings at RIP Night Fes, and he was in the audience at the, uh, other thing. Anyways he just gets up, not wearing even a fraction of something Franchouchou-related (unless you count the Fried Squid in his pocket. That's a reference that 99% of people won't get), and when given a chance to talk ON THE MIC, all he says is "I'm gonna do my best."

Fun fact: He's also the only person who actually made it across the biking segment.

The entire thing was kind of an advertising scheme, similar to the Drive-In Tori commercial. They were wearing what I can only presume are Official Franchouchou T-shirts, and geez I want one!

More importantly, it looks like they did a guerrilla concert... somewhere! No location is given, but presumably its somewhere in Saga. They did a new song, Mezame Returner, and it followed the same tropes as their previous song... mostly.

See, it started off a bit higher quality than their last two shows. The metal one they weren't really given a chance to do anything idol-esque, and last time it didn't really feel like they all had one thing in mind. This time it actually felt like they were doing a real idol song, albeit not that great. There was a bit of a crowd, but something happened about halfway through. The video makes it look like 6 tripped, but I can't really be certain.

So, we have our idol thing, we have our breakdown. What genre did they go into this time?

Ladies and Gentlemen and What Have You, they played us like a damn fiddle.

The missing idols come in from out of frame, and the background track skips back. The actual song  _ is _ the idol song.

Ironically, now that they've gotten their act together, the audience has cleared out, leaving the camera with a great view of the group. This is the first time we've heard them all, like, actually singing. I know this is ironic coming from me, but their performance back in RIP Night Fes wasn't exactly singing, and a rap battle doesn't really count either. Now I'm no expert in the genera, but after the fake-out it was pretty good! Other than the obvious pun with "Returner," though, nothing was really added to the Zombie narrative. I suppose they can't exactly hide anything important in a guerrilla show, but it was a minor let down.

Fortunately, for the first time, you all can watch their performance too! Not just the gruella performance, but everything Franchouchou has done so far has been uploaded to idol.geocitys.co.jp/franshu ! Footage of the Gatalympics, the gruella performance and their two other shows is all ready and available, 100% Free!

No, they did not sponsor me. To be honest, with how unintuitive and bland the website is I doubt they have the money to sponsor anything. They probably blew it all on their special effects.

Anyways, there's one last thing the website told us. Apparently they're going to be newcomers at this year's Saga Rock concert! Mod GreenFace and I already have tickets because I wanted to see Melancholy X, so I'm super hyped!

Gee, I wonder what genre of song they're doing at Saga Rock. A real mystery. Quite the head scratcher. Hmmmmmmmmmm….

Well anyways, that's all I have for today. I probably won't be making another post until Saga Rock, but Mod GreenFace said he wanted to make a comment or two, so stay tuned for that.

Have a good one, Franchousteins! -Mod DeathMusume

#Franchouchou #Gatalympics #Website #GuerrillaConcert #ModDM

* * *

 

Death-Faced-Franchouchou ⇄ Death-In-Saga

@SagaMetalHead and I currently have Two Bets going on about Death Musume/Green Face/Franchouchou. The First Bet is if they'll Change Their Name again. I bet Yes, but now that theyre Signed Up for a Large Concert as Franchouchou, and the Website Calls Them That Too, it looks like im Losing That Bet.

The other Bet we have is if the Zombie aspect that has been Hinted At is supposed to be Literal or Metaphorical, and with the More Recent Content I think im Winning That Bet.

Simply Put, neither the Gruella Concert nor the Gatalympics showed Any Signs of Zombie-ness, but in My Theory fit in Perfectly. Let Me Explain:

First, let's look at the Gruella Concert. They're literally Fumbling Around on the Streets, hoping Anyone will Notice Them. Looking It Up, this Concert was Not Listed Anywhere, and therefore Technically Illegal. Oops. But think about What That Means: In these times, Groups have to Break The Law just to be Noticed.

The New Song, Mezame Returner, is, when you Think About it, a very Typical Idol Song. The Entire Song is about how If You Want Something and Work Hard Enough, you will Get It. It also has Themes of the Power of Teamwork. The Narrative clearly goes with Three and Fours Absence during the First Half, and how much They Improved after Three and Four Returned. However, This Song is Also Framework for a Narrative. It is the Beginning of a Journey. The Beginning of a Saga, If You Will.

Every Idol Group starts with Big Dreams, and Wants To Be The Best. All you Have To Do is Work Hard, and you'll Make It, Right?

Well, that has Yet To Be Seen. My Hypothesis is that This is a Set Up.

Franchouchou Is Set Up To Fail.

All this talk of Big Dreams and "Just Have To Want It" will only make it A Bigger Gut Punch when, Narratively at Least, Everything Crashes And Burns.

Keep a Pin In That. It's Time for the Gatalympics.

Okay, Ill get it Out Of The Way. This was clearly an Advertising Scheme, same as the Drive-in Tori Commercial. Sidenote, Theres definitely Things to be Said about That Commercial, but Im Still Not Sure What They Are.

There is More to the Gatalympics, however. The Very Concept of Advertising at the Gatalympics is, well, disappointing. They would Not Be The First, but theres a Lack of Dignity that Goes Along with Getting Covered In Mud for Trying To Do Anything. Its a Blast to Watch, but to Advertise during that? Theres a Level You Have To Stoop To.

These Girls are Trying Their Hardest, and their Reward is, literally, to be Thrown Into The Mud.

Then, look at Kotaro. He's Franchouchous manager, and out of Anyone should be Advertising the Most.

He does... Absolutely Nothing. He Doesnt wear a Franchouchou Shirt, when Given a Chance To Speak he make No Other Comment than, "Im Gonna Do My Best," and Most Tellingly hes Not Just the Only Member of Franchouchou, but the Only Person At The Entire Event that Did Not Fall Into The Mud during the First Event.

I could go on, but I Believe my Point Has Been Made.

#Franchouchou #Gatalympics # Guerrilla Concert #MetOfPhorical #Re #ModGF

  
  



End file.
